AM 250 Nuvigil
PM 3/25 Symbyax, 300 Lamictal, 5 Zyprexa
My blog stats have shown another interesting search.
"give yourself to the rain"
Being crazy can be a Spring shower, a thunderstorm, a tropical storm, a hurricane.
Whatever name we want to give it, being crazy is a spectrum.
Sometimes the sun is shining.
But sometimes, like it or not, we are caught in the rain.
We might not be able to stop the rain, but we can surrender.
I know I can fight a lot.
Some days I fight bipolar disorder with anger, with flailing arms and legs crying on the kitchen floor, with my toes teetering on the edge of a flat earth. Sometimes I fight quietly, with unabashed tears, a deep breath, and a fake smile.
But somedays I can surrender.
I can throw myself out into the rain and let the raindrops land on my lashes.
I'm not saying it's easy.
I'm not saying you should quit fighting and being so damn furious.
I know sometimes we can't. Every day is different.
But what I am saying is maybe it's less about fighting the rain, and more about jumping in the puddles.
Nothing is going to change that.
We can't stop the rain, and we can't trade in our brains, but we can take crazy pills and dare to give ourselves to the rain.
We can put on our rain boots and stomp in the puddles.
Give yourself to the rain, and let crazy pills be your umbrella.
Until next time...