Crazy pill count:
AM 250 Nuvigil
PM 1500 Depakote, 10 Zypreza, 100 Topamax
I haven't posted in a long time.
Geeze it's been a long time.
A long enough time to give Latuda a fair chance, kick it to the curb, put Zyprexa, my infamous
fat pills back in my daily regimen, and reintroduce Topamax, also know as my stupid pills. Stay tuned for comical, and fascinating information on Topamax.
Latuda turned out to be the bust of the century.
Who wants to take a pill called La-tooo-da anyway? Let's be honest, It sounds like a pretentious fart. I was willing to look past it, but still...
The restroom at Dr. Crazy's office has this crazy code which must be cracked to grant entry. It's crazy enough that the bathroom has a code but the really crazy part is that the code is roman numerals.
Roman numerals...the numeric system of
ancient Rome...we're still using that? Really? And on bathroom doors? I thought we were only doing that on watches or important new buildings to make them look important.
The code is 42:
Didn't pay attention in second grade?
Don't worry, here's a cheat sheet probably made by a second grader.
The reason I'm bringing this up is because of my stupid pills and the amount of water I drank this morning, which happened to be a lot.
Any doctor who talks to you about taking Topamax (Stupid Pills) will probably use the word "dopey." Somehow they've all gotten together and decided
this is the word to use. You can also enter it into the
google box an yield lots of results but what it really makes you is flat out stupid. I don't know why people aren't using
this word. I am happy to report putting "topamax stupid" in the google box will bring you to this page.
Dopey: muddled, befuddled, disorientated, groggy
Stupid: dazed and unable to think, lacking intelligence or common sense
The
topomax website says it much more gingerly, "Some people may have memory recall issues. This reaction varies, but people have described it as "difficulty finding the right word" or "losing my train of thought."
For me it's not losing
just a word, or
just my train of thought, it's a complete loss of of
all thought.
The official side effect should read: Complete loss of
all thought.
The official side effect should also read: Stupidity
Don't get me wrong, it is damn frustrating. Damn, damn frustrating, but man, there is a lot of wiggle room for comedy. I actually had to go home, twice, on two separate occasions, while driving around town last week because I couldn't remember where I was going. These were second leg, non important errands, so it didn't devastate my life that I missed out on my trip to get a Shamrock Shake or stop by the library, but still;
I couldn't remember where I was going. Can we call this, "Complete loss of
all thought" please? This is not just dopey. This is stupidity.
Don't worry, once I remembered I went back for the Shamrock Shake.
*Note to Self* How is ass getting so huge?
See below.
Roughly five minutes ago you could have offered me a one zillion dollar prize to spell Zyprexa, correctly, and I would have lost. It was a complete loss of
all thought. I have been spelling Zyprexa for over five years! Do you know how many starving children I could feed with a zillion dollars? Probably a zillion. And now, instead, they're just going to keep starving.
Earlier this afternoon, while making an online purchase, I forgot my billing address. I forgot where I lived!! This has to be described as "complete loss of
all thought." I have lived at this address for over four years but had no idea, whatsoever, if my street name had one or two "l's" in it. I had to look it up on the internet.
This is a true story.
Here is the smarty pants picture of Topamax with the chemical structure, if you are the smarty pants type who likes to look at these things. I just don't get how ingesting something so complicated looking can make you so stupid.
See how complicated it looks?
You know that roman numeral code lock I showed you up there?
That code that only consists of two numbers...
That code I have been entering for 4 years, 9 months, and 21 days...
I couldn't remember it today!
I found this to be quite the rib-tickling situation. Hysterical actually. I would have found it a heck of a lot funnier if I wasn't doing the emergency pee dance. That was all part of the fun I suppose. If you find yourself in a similar situation - chances are good you will - I hope you will be able to enjoy a moment of the absurdity and laugh. That's about the best we can do.
Speaking frankly, I'm already not one of the smartest animals in the cracker box, so when you pop a couple stupid pills in me all bets are officially off. Wondering what's with the stupid pills then? I'm hoping to counteract my insatiable hunger from my fat pills by decreasing my appetite with stupid pills.
Fingers crossed.
Fat pills, Stupid pills, CRAZY PILLS...what's a girl to do?
Until next time...
