Crazy pill count:
AM 250 Nuvigil
PM 3/25 Symbyax, 300 Lamictal, 5 Zyprexa
It's been over two weeks since I posted a cartoon.
I know how much you
hate love mental illness cartoons so here it goes:
It's a cartoon, yes, but perhaps you have been in this situation. I'm not suggesting you are a penguin that goes on romantic dates with polar bears, but I think it's safe to say most of us have been in this situation. Either as the penguin or the polar bear.
When is it the right time to disclose that we are crazy?
In
this post I talked about common reactions to our crazy news, but I didn't talk about when or how we should tell.
My boss doesn't know I'm bipolar. I have a feeling she would think differently of me. Would she? Who knows, but I'm not in the mood to find out. I'm not ashamed of being crazy, but we all have to admit some people think it is shameful. Which it's not, by the way. But some people, like perhaps my boss, may trust me less. Is this fair? Absolutely not. But it happens. Shit happen, right? And sometimes we're smack dab under the bird when it does.
Should bipolar individuals be trusted less? Absolutely not. But then again, being crazy is after all crazy, and I would be lying if I said it has never effected any of my jobs. I am great at pretending. The queen of make believe, actually; I talk about my stellar pretending skills
here and
here. I put on a happy face for work where I'm positive I don't perform less than 100%. But that's my current job. I have had jobs, in the past, where I didn't. Where I couldn't.
I'm lucky I have found a job that suits me in this way. That being crazy has not ruined. But what about those jobs it did effect? They simply weren't the right jobs for me.
It's hard to be employed when you're crazy, but most of us need to be employed to eat, or to have health insurance to pay for our crazy pills. The trick is finding a job you can perform at regardless of your crazy fluctuating moods. If you haven't found that job yet, keep looking.
I did have a job where I told my boss I was bipolar. I actually spit it out during my interview. I immediately regretted it. What the hell was I doing sucker punching myself like that? But guess what? I got hired anyway.
This is proof that being crazy is okay. Remember when I said it's okay? That's because it is. Would some people immediately cross my name off their interview list with a huge red pen? Yes. Unfortunately that's the world we live in. But they didn't. They hired me because they saw the person I was, and not just a crazy person.
I'm not recommending you introduce yourself at a job interview,
"Hi my name is crazy. I'm named that because I'm crazy. Bipolar to be specific. Sometimes I act crazy and my work suffers. Please hire me."
That's not exactly how my interview went, but close enough.
What I am recommending is that we disclose we are crazy when we want to, to the people we want to.
It may be your boss, it may not. It may be the hot polar bear you're on a date with, it may not.
Telling someone we're crazy requires a bit of trust. We need to know that they won't cross us out of their life with a huge red pen. I wish I could say, with certainty, that anyone who would isn't worth a friendship; but it doesn't always feel that way. I'd be lying if I said an unfavorable reaction to the fact I'm crazy hasn't stung. But I move on. So can you. I hate that sometimes we have to move on, and cross
them off with a huge red pen. But occasionally we do.
Everyone wants to be accepted.
Everyone
deserves to be accepted for who they are.
And who are we?
We're crazy. And it's okay.
I heard a rumor that all the most wonderful people are.
Until next time...
