AM 20 Adderall, 7.5 Zyprexa, 50 Lyrica
PM 100 Lyrica, 5 Zyprexa
A post brought to you by The Topic Request Survey.
I've been avoiding this request for quite some time now.
How does that saying go? Never talk politics or religion in mixed company?
But I did promise to honor your questions...
I am probably the worst person to discuss faith since I am the one who falls asleep in church.
As a child, I did have a sense of faith. I didn't go church, often, but when I did, I sure loved making those crosses out of popsicle sticks. I said my prayers tucked in bed, and thanked God for my parents and rainbows.
Want to make one? Here's how.
At some point, in preschool, I became overly concerned with the devil. I made a drawing that my teachers became overly concerned with that consisted only of the color red. I drew a little red devil, with a little red cat, and a little red dog, and a little all red rainbow. Below this picture, I drew the exact same thing. It was the devil's devil. And below that, another identical drawing - the devil's devil's devil. Whew, that's a lot of devils for a four year old attending a preschool in a church!
As a teenager, whenever I prayed, I cried. I felt foolish, so I stopped praying.
As an adult, I married a Catholic boy, and so I occasionally go to church, but I spend that hour daydreaming, and not about God.
Often, I feel envious of people who have unshakable faith. How comforting to have a God to turn to. But I don't. I don't have a reason why, and I don't know when I lost it, but I did. If you have it, hold on tight.
However, I do realize there is a difference between religion and faith, and perhaps I'm focusing too much on religion and not enough on faith.
Let's consult our friends from the dictionary:
faith: trust, belief, confidence, conviction, optimism, hopefulness, hope
This is a faith I can get behind:
I have trust in modern medicine.
I believe in the goodness of others.
I have confidence that we all have the ability to change the world.
I have a great sense of conviction when I talk about crazy pills.
I am optimistic for the future of bipolar disorder research.
I am hopeful that we can live a beautiful life despite being crazy.
I hope you know how amazing you are.
Or wait, maybe you meant Faith?
Until next time...