Sunday, January 27, 2013

The Gift of Forgiveness

Crazy pill count:
AM .5 Ativan, 5 Zyprexa, 90 Cymbalta, 2.5 Abilify, 10 Viibryd
afternoon .5 Ativan
PM .5 Ativan, 10 Zyprexa

I recently saw the movie The Silver Linings Playbook (twice). I loved it, hence, seeing it twice. I think they did both a great job, and a terrible job, of portraying the reality of bipolar disorder. I could get into all the nitty gritty details of what I think they "got" and what they didn't, but I'm sure no one cares about my amateur movie review skills. 

The reason I'm bringing this movie up is because of a really great scene with a powerful message. 

When Pat, our bipolar Bradly Cooper, 
who ran in a garbage bag everyday, 
called Tiffany a slut,

she responded:

"I was a slut. There will always be a part of me that is dirty and sloppy, but I like that, just like all the other parts of myself. I can forgive. Can you say the same for yourself, fucker? Can you forgive? Are you capable of that?"

Wow. How powerful is that? 

What a gift. What a gift to like all parts of ourselves. Even the dirty and sloppy parts. Because guess what? We all have them. At least I know I do. I have some really ugly, really dirty, really sloppy parts, and bipolar disorder seems to, at times, be the key that unlocks them from their cell - especially during a mania or mixed episode. After a mania or mixed episode, often, there can be a lot of forgiveness that needs to be practiced.

A great big thank you to Tiffany, our ex-slut Jennifer Lawrence, for being brave enough to love her dirty, sloppy parts. A great big thank you to Tiffany for teaching us a lesson on forgiveness. And for so boldly yelling, "fucker" for dramatic flair. 

Jeepers did they argue a lot.

Look, they're fighting again. 
And Pat is wearing a garbage bag again.

I am also bringing this up because not too long ago, when I had My Ugly Bipolar Day, a dear and wonderful human being commented on the post about my behavior:

"I'm glad you are already on your way to forgiving yourself for the bipolar asshole behavior. That forgiveness behavior comes from the strong, beautiful, loving Bacon-girl you are, despite of this crappy crappy illness. Sending hugs to all the parts of you."

Wow. What a gift. 

What a gift to send a hug to all the parts of me. The ugly, bipolar, asshole parts, and the loving parts too. A great big thank you to Kim, for her comment, and reminding me of the important truth to embrace all the parts of myself.

The hardest person for me to forgive is myself. But I am learning. If you haven't already, I hope you are learning to forgive yourself too. Everyone deserves to be forgiven. Everyone deserves to be loved for exactly who they are - dirty, sloppy, bipolar, loving - all of it. And that everyone specifically includes me and you.

Forgiveness is a gift.
Give and accept it graciously and abundantly.

Mess up.
Forgive again.
Love fiercely.
Hug all the parts of you.

Until next time...


  1. Thanks for this reminder - needed it today. Miss you mew mew!!


  2. If a person isn't willing to forgive you for something you can't help, that's THEIR problem, NOT yours! Knowledge is power and there's no excuse for ignorance with info @ the click of a button!

    Love all of you- I do! :)

  3. Well said, my dear.

  4. I love that the gift I gave you is a gift for me, and others as well. This forgiving our self is hard work, Ms Bacon, but so worth it. We really do deserve that love and forgiveness, don't we ?
    Big Hugs, Lovely One !

  5. Love this movie and absolutely love the article!
    I so needed this. <3